What I’m All About

There are a lot of reasons to start a blog.

Some people blog because they have genuinely interesting, intelligent things to say.

Other people blog because they think they have interesting, intelligent things to say.

Still others blog simply because they like writing and find it an enjoyable use of their time.

I like to think my intention sits somewhere among the three of these reasons. I can’t rest solely on the first because I’m not actually certain the things I have to say are interesting but I tend to think at least some of them are. However I am certain I enjoy writing and am starting to think it may be a better method of expressing myself than forcing my friends and family to listen to my daily rants. This way, people can choose if they want to listen or not.

Now that I’ve explained why I’m doing this, I can get on to the title of this post. The truth is, I’m 22 and I’m not sure what I’m all about. If there are any 22 year-olds out there who are sure, please tell them to email me immediately so we can discuss their earth-shattering revelations.

Who I am up through this point has been shaped by a bunch of seemingly random phenomena that may or may not have a lot to do with cats. Regardless, in the past several years I have lived through a set of events, and undergone a slew of changes that have brought me to the crux of a very interesting point in my life. What I mean by this is I find myself discontented with the majority of things so-called “average” life has to offer. I can blame this partly on my education in natural resource science, which confirmed my suspicions that humankind is in fact destroying our only planet. I can also blame this partly on my decision to skip out on “real life” for 3 months in favor of a very simple existence in a Costa Rican lowland tropical rainforest. Wherever the blame lies, I can’t be too upset about it because although these decisions have often led me to a state of mind plagued by worry, depression, and hopelessness, they have also given me a great sense of direction in my life.

Direction is a funny thing in the context of life because if you’re down with Darwinian biology (and I am) you’re at least somewhat aware that life has no direction. Evolution is not a means to and end and natural selection is not trying to achieve anything. I’m even a fan of entropy and chaos theory, generally believing things don’t happen for a reason and the whole of the universe is one big cosmic clusterfuck.

Ironically, this is precisely why direction and purpose are important to me. Being one of the only self-aware organisms on Earth, we as humans have the rather special yet excruciating task of deciding what we want to do every day. As irritating as this can be at times, I believe the ability to find purpose and meaning in complete chaos is nothing short of fantastic. So what this really comes down to is while I’m floating around in beautiful, hideous, cosmic chaos I want to make something of it. This doesn’t mean I believe I can “change the world” exactly (shh, don’t tell my 8-year-old self) and it definitely doesn’t mean I was destined for some specific purpose. It means I choose to live my life in a way that I see as not only fit to satisfy myself but in a way that might, at some point in time, make someone go “huh well that was an interesting way to go about it”.

Categories: About me, Philosophy | Leave a comment

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